-demotivating-

Several times I feel very demotivated

Caused by people

Whom never tired
To cursed people

And several times also

I pampered myself

To be patience

Because of people

Whom never fail

To motivates me to be strong.

-regretful-

‎

..."Sekiranya dia ditimpa musibah, dia bersabar. Maka jadilah musibah itu baik untuknya"...


It's not the end of Bigi yet.
Trust Him.

-colorful-

Bad things always came after good things.



Proof?






Watching movie Fast Five yesterday.
Awesome.



Got sms from Puan Mumtazah.
"Saya tengah meeting sekarang. Boleh lapor diri."
Awesomeness.



Sampai kat motor,






................................

-malfunction-

-500-

5 years portfolio
2 years works experience
thousands photographs 2002-now
OP mangas ep1-593
music albums
movies collections
all memories

...gone...

-jingga-

He's gone forever...

I witnessed the time when he 'gone'...
I still remember...
How he's struggle for death...
His nose is bleeding...
His paws scratching...
Until he's not moving...forever...

Goodbye Mr.Nice Guy...Jingga

-cabbage-

aku rasekan...aku kekurangan sesuatu. sesuatu yang menyebabkan semua yang aku tidak pernah jangkakan berlaku,disebabkan oleh kelalaian...tak sangka ya, dibulan ramadhan ini aku boleh mengabaikan dia...dia...sang sayuran hijau (bukan kuda hijau ok!)...MINTA MAAF! AKU TELAH MENGABAIKAN DIKAU DAN JUGA MINERAL-MINERALMU ITU! AMPUN!

cabbage_goreng

-eye swollen-

Prennggggg!!!preeenggg!!!!

Aku melulu pergi ke hospital serdang..dengan bijik mate yg sbelah hampir tertutup,aku meredah pagi yang hening melalui jalan darat,menuju ke arah highway...susah payah aku mengelakkan dari lori dan bas yg mengeluarkan sisa2 haram.clake btol, ntah berapa ribu-ribu lemon kuman tah masuk dalam mata nih...sampai2 je kat spita, aku igt nak amek nombor dulu, lama gak aku jd tugu dpan kaunter,skali brader tu cakap,

" Ye dik,nak ape?" aku jadi pelik...
" Nak beras 2 kilo bang..." kate aku dalam hati...
" Nak no giliran...register kat sini ke?" aku pelik sebab makcik2,pakcik2 kat blakang aku ni sume ade kad...apsal aku xde?
" Sini bahagian yg ade appointment je...adik ade appointment ngan doktor ke?" ah sudah...ak dah glabah malu ni...
" Err,xde...baru nak pegi jumpa lani...kena pegi klinik kesihatan dulu ke?"

Aku paling bosan buat bende takde pekdah ni...sebab tu aku nyampah pegi klinik, hospital dan sbagainya. Selalu sangat aku jadi eksperiment. Mak akula ni soh pegi spital jumpa pakar mato, dah rase mcm menteri plak bole pegi2 jumpa camtu tp disebabkan mak aku cakap mcm kompiden je,aku pon tanpa segan silu memalukan diri depan patient2 yang tgh hangin nak amek nombor...dahla mcm org gila pakai spek itam dalam spital, dgn gaye coolnya aku keluar seperti takde ape2 berlaku...

Dengan geram aku pulas minyak macam pulas minyak moto YZF R1...walhal lari 80 je...aku menghalakan destinasi ke Putrajaya, dekat sikit. Dengan sedaya upaya aku memerah ingatan, jalan mane yg abah lalu mase anta aku g check demam aritu eh? Lupe siot! Seperti biasa, aku kan cool. Dengan selamba aku redah pusing2 area yang aku igt2 lupa(presint9 rupenye)...dari kul8 suku...keluar masuk...keluar masuk...perghhh,besar bena presint 9 nih. Tanpa disedari, signal merah menyala...ah sudah, 2T!!!!

Dengan jimat cermat aku pulas minyak menghala ke stesen berdekatan...haram, nsb baik xjauh. Klau tak tu nk kne cari dlu plak, sesat dulu bru jumpa. Haihhh....dah nk pukul 9 nih blom jumpa2 lg...ape dorg sorok celah mane klinik nih???(padahal aku yg lupa). Terpakselah aku tanya En. Azmiza....

Troootttt~troooottt~hello...?

Kak ina on the fon. Puasla kak ina meneka kat mane lokasi aku sebab aku pon xtau aku kat mana. Bila kak ina sebut pasal stesen minyak td, bru aku teringat. Setelah mengingat sket2, aku start enjin dan patah balik ke jalan td sleps mendapati betapa bodohnya diri ini...

....dan itu dia...3-4 KALI DAH AKU LALU DEPAN NI, AKU BOLEH TAK PERASAN????

Arghhhhhh!!!!!!!

*************************

Selepas mengambil nombor, aku menunggu giliran...ni mau sejam lebih gak ni nak tggu, skit punya ramai makhluk. Sambil tunggu, mate ni dah mcm kat opis. Lentik2 mcm ayam kne semelih...tup! Gelap gelita dan aku asek terhangguk2 sambil ternganga...huh~ buruk gile tido terhangguk2 nih. Siap nganga lg, xbleh jadi ni. Dah pukul10 kot, aku terpakse pindah tempat duduk...yg kat blakang tu best sket, boleh sandar kepala kat dinding. Perghhh,layan...selang 5minit aku terjaga, dan sampai tiba giliran aku;

" 334 "

Aku masuk kebilik 4...apsala aku slalu berhadapan dengan org india je? nsib baik cute...tp xnmpak sgt sbab dia pakai mask...

" Apa pasal mata?"
" Mata kena bisul r doktor..."
" Oooo...ini bukan saket mata la...itu bisul kena bagi antibiotik, tp U kan puasa,mcmana mau makan?" dah jd persoalan disitu..." Ke U nak ambil yang 8jam punya?Tapi tak kuat sangatla...so?which one?" pertama kali aku ditanya oleh seseorg yg bernama Doktor terlatih yang menanyakan bagaimana aku menangani situasi dikala aku yg sebetulnya kne tanya dia...aku confuse....betul ke dia ni doktor?atau lebih tepat betul ke ni KLINIK?

" Boleh...bagi jela yg kuat punya," aku malas nak betah2...lg cepat setel lg cepat aku balik.
" Okey, nnt I bg U antibiotik sama ubat titis mata ok? Pergi kaunter farmasi, pastu scan card."

Selepas berterima kasih kepada doktor baru tu, aku keluar menuju ke kaunter farmasi. Lepas scan, aku pon duduk2 saje sambil menunggu. Telefon berbunyi...Si Harith rupenye. Tak setel2 lg rupenye keje yg aku mtk tolong kat dia pg td,hehee...rilek Rip, nnt aku tolong ko plak eh? Mengharap mate aku terkeluar,siot punya member...aku mtk tolong kaler plan je...Ah?dah sampai giliran aku. Siap sebut nama penuh lg, org len sume nombor je kuar...

Sampai je, makcik yang jaga kaunter tu kata aku kena makan antibiotik tp sebab bulan pose ni dia sajeskan supaya aku hold dlu, doktor india ni kadang2 ssh dorg nk buat keputusan bila tiba bab2 ni. Then dia sediakan krim antibiotik, ubat tetes ngan ubat ilang bengkak...Aik? td aku dengar dua je...ni sampai 4? Puasla makcik tu terangkan kat aku sbb pe tak boleh tangguh2 makan antibiotik ni, pastu camne nk sapu krim bwh mate, ikut time, mcm2 lgla..."Peramah jugak mkcik ni," kate aku dalam hati. Setel, aku keluar dgn hati riang bila dapat mc...siap doktor tu td tny nak mc tak?aih?nak seminggu boleh?sigh.....dapatla sehari, bolelaaa....

Dalam perjalanan pulang, aku rasa sangat lega dan best...sebab dapat MC!!!!yahuuu....

mr_bread says: on the way aku balik...handle aku begegar lain macam...rupenye ilang satu skru!kutu btol!

-medical certificate-

Hari ini kau datang riang tersenyum buatku tenang...haihhh...today im not in the mood to make something special or what so ever...jangkitan2 yang telah menyebabkan produksi aku terbatas...tak terbatas hanya bidang lukisan, idea2 bernas juga melangkaui produksi penulisan aku. Aku dah kurang berfikir tentang dunia global...karna didalam kepala ini jua hanyalah terfikir nak makan-obat-tidur-solat-doa...begitulah sehari-harianku...masuk hari ketiga ini barulah kepala aku mendapat gelombang yang sepatutnya...maka dengan itu boleh barangkali aku menyatakan bahawasanya aku disini sihat-sihat belaka...demam makin kurang...selsema juga sudah berkurang....batuk juga alhamdulillah...cuma terdapat kahak-kahak hijau yang masih bermaharajalela didalam paru-paru kesayanganku...perit. bila terbatuk terasa paru-paru ini mahu meledak,pecah mengeluarkan cebisan-cebisan...arghhh...sudah seharian aku tidak menyusukan paru-paruku...kasihan dia. tak mengapalah,aku berikan dia barang sehari dua untuk berehat...ya, ini hari hari gaji...tetapi aku mendapat MC...besokla gamaknya aku baru dapat...kasihan lagi sekali...

-the-forty-times-

After a few weeks, I've a lot of dreams that i couldn't fulfilled yet. But i have to started after a couple of month. Talking about my dreams...yeah,one of them is to get my preciousness - Nikon D60... Ive been aiming it so long...after I've been dumped by someone i dont even know him, who has 'stealing' my wife-to-be...Olympus OM-1...my God...and yesterday its like the old days. But its happened in front my eyes, seeing my D60's being rubbed, touched...i cant hold it anymore...my heart cried alone...

That night, I went to office alone to get some privacy...I search some images of my dreams. I know I cant get her back, but I cant let my dream gone because of him. I have to find another...for replacement....here we go...

Nikon D40x..."The-forty-timers" will rise to defeat them!

:D

-back up-

I have seen peace... I have seen pain,
Resting on the shoulders of your name...
Do you see the truth through all their lies?
Do you see the world through troubled eyes?
And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend...

I have seen birth... I have seen death...
Lived to see a lover's final breath (hold on)
Do you see my guilt? Should I feel all right?
Is the fire of hesitation burning bright?
And if you want to talk about it once again,
On you I depend... I'll cry on your shoulder...
You're a friend...

You and I have lived through many things...
I'll hold on to your heart...
I wouldn't cry for anything,
But don't go tearing your life apart...

I have seen fear... I have seen faith...
Seen the look of anger on your face...
And if you want to talk about what will be,
Come and sit with me, and cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend...

And if you want to talk about it anymore,
Lie here on the floor and cry on my shoulder once again,
Cry on my shoulder,
I'm a friend...

-unlucky-

Rushing hour...there's only 2 minutes left! I'm gonna break the red light, ignore the trailers and squeezes the accelerator for my sake...arriving, Sopey, Biha, Arip and Pok Nik still at the ground floor...

" What's up??? Why don't you all get up?" I'm a little confused.

"We all don't have keys-lah Jib..." Sopey sigh. " Cik Iza also upstairs...still waiting,hahaha~"

What in earth happen? I forced myself to not be wild because of this tiny unlucky. Patience, patience...(walaupon tadi dah nak separa-hidup merempit...huh~).

Staircase detailing...I've spent 3 days to work it until now. What exactly is going on me? Why I can't performed like I'd really are? What happened to me?

First thing...I'm urgently on call to started work last Tuesday. I'm not really interested to start early. Maybe I'm not agree with that, so its effected my performance(tak berkat!).

Another thing...I like to think. That's not really shows that I'm a perfectionist, but all the information I need is not enough to make me doing well. Who's did it before this? Sigh~whoever it is, I don't want to know...I just do it...without knowing it will cause me trouble on the next day...

Two days...I just settle up the typical section, until...
"Najib, tak jadilah potong yang tu...ubah ke depan sikit section line, baru cantik. tp susah sikitla," Kak Linda suggest me. What the....
"Oklah...saya cuba." trying to hide emotion. Suddenly...

"NAJIB...ko tengah buat apa?" Norman ask with his "angry voice", enough to break my heartbeat.
"Err...tengah buat detail staircase. Section dah nk siap, tapi nk kena ubah balik sebab tak best pulak..." trembling!
"Dari semalam tangga-tangga-tangga...main-main hah.." dia dah mula daaahhhh...siot... :(

Its okay, I've been invincible with his murmuring...Actually I'm not afraid of him, but because I am new, I've got to make sure nothing will ruined Norman's mood. At least for a month. the next day...

Same question.

"NAJIB!ko buat apa?" Norman ask with his "angry voice", enough to break my heartbeat again.
"Detail stairca..." then he cut me out.

to be continued...susah betul nak abeskan yang ni...haihh~